SHARE: Clothes she covets

Clothes. She looks great with or without them. The problem is, how do you buy them? The short answer is you shouldn’t. Like an elite athlete, only a small minority excel and will always win a swag of brownie points. For everyone else, it’s just pure fear and you choke at the finish line. Fear of getting the right style, size or shop and fear of answering ‘does my butt look big in this?’. 

If you’re game, go in prepared: 

1. Know her size. And not just “Size 10”. Is she a 10 on top and a 12 on the bottom? What’s her cup size? Check her tags to get a clue without seeming the stalker. There’s nothing worse than getting her size wrong. It’s a lose-lose. You’ll depress her because she’s larger than you thought or insult her by suggesting she’s larger than she is. In fact if she’s having an off day, it’s an epic fail because subsequently, she’ll feel self conscious, less sexy and less likely to initiate ‘sexy time’.

2. Know her taste. Get what she likes. Not what you like. You might be a g-banger boy but if she's a full brief fan, choose wisely to ensure you actually have  the option to see her wearing neither.

3. Sleuth shopping. Go shopping with her. Sounds punishing but if you’re attempting to buy her clothes, you’re already a glutton for that. Take note of the styles she’s browsing, what she’s trying and where she’s buying. And always make friends with the saleswoman.

4. Respect her right to return. Always ensure there’s a return or exchange policy and let her know she has the option. Not to lack faith but be realistic. Then at least both parties are happy and your money doesn’t go to waste.

5. If all else fails... and you are set on giving her clothes, take her with you. But make an effort to make it special. What seems practical and generous to you - offering her a wardrobe and your credit card - might seem like a cop-out to her. No thought, no effort, no brownie points. A friend I know managed to make a cut-out card in the shape of a dress with a dollar value. Simple, short and in her eyes, super sweet.

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you’re struggling, consult her best mate or sister. It’s the trifecta of brownie points – you look good, your girl ends up looking good and you get influential instant-win best mate brownie points.