EAT: Bite club

Sometimes the best things to do are the things that no one knows about, the things that you don't need to facebook or tweet about. In the case of bite club, the same applies.

For the single Brownie-points seeker, bite club is a secret underground dining experience giving you a new avenue to meet like-minded ladies beyond the same bars, clubs and pubs.

Singles nights usually evoke visions of Barry and Tina at the local bowls club. Suburban dating, this is not. Bite club is an eclectic inner city mansion where private dinners are catered to 'city professionals and creatives willing to take a chance and meet new people'.


Brownie Points P.A memo: It's also available to hire for private functions for 12-26 people so Brownie-Points seekers who are taken, this could be a great way to suggest a party for her birthday or a get together with her mates.

SHARE: Less of you

Facebook is a given. Defining your relationship status - standard. Making announcements about the progression (or regression) of your relationship, engagements and the like -  increasingly the norm.Whether I agree or not (and I don't), these trends Brownie Points P.A cannot argue against.

However, one thing holds true. In the case of brownie points-winning behaviour, the following are serious brownie points detractors: waking up to your iphone's overnight sports scores, mobile phone usage during a meal or posting 'how amazing this is right now'.  Really, it can't be that amazing or a 'power of now' moment if you're posting about it. 

Nor will she appreciate the constant phone checking while on a first date, second date or in-a-steady-relationship-date. Even if it's a grand final re-match. 

For those new to the long-established school of etiquette, if there's a tablecloth, do not place your phone on the table. Refrain from doing so in any case but, at minimum, stick to this. 

Brownie Points P.A memo: Give her the time and your full attention and you'll make sure you get your attention's worth later in the evening.

EAT: Bangin' Berta

Unlike the first or second date where you want to hedge your bets with a few surrounding bars to keep the conversation lubed up post-dinner, Berta is the place to go for that third or fourth date when you know you're on a roll.

Tucked away in Surry Hills, Brownie Points P.A circled it twice without realising. It's discreet and away from the sceney street crowds played out on Crown St. Yet once you push through the glass door and head down the corridor, it's so loud and vibey you'll be wondering how you didn't notice it. If she hasn't heard of it yet, get in quick so you score some brownie points.

Brownie Points PA recommends the fontina and sage balls (aka the 'cheesey poofs' hilariously listed on our bill) and the duck which comes in an amazing broth with large sheets of papardelle. If you're both up for it, there's a $65 bistecca which Berta staff strongly recommend you share. This is mid-tier dining at its best so your bank balance isn't cringing.

We sat by the bar so the the service was excellent, the menu selection simple yet delicious and the wine list, long. All the goods for a banging night out (..or in?)

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you still need a bar to get things going after dinner, head across Goulburn St and up onto Commonwealth and Foster. You've got two choices - cocktails at Longrain or down and dirty beers at the Hollywood.

PLAY: Spring into action

Winter hibernation can be a romance killer. Trackies on the couch and too much takeout can keep any hint of summer sunshine out of the bedroom.

Give her a reason to get dressed up and spoilt and you'll be rewarded with a swag of brownie points. A friend I know recently raved about her Brownie Point seeker's efforts. She assumed it was just another quiet Friday night in after a big week at work. Instead, her Brownie Points seeker had organised a spontaneous tango lesson at a dance studio up the road - perfect timing before their upcoming South American holiday. Kid you not, this is for real and this guy is no pansy. He flies jets for a living and loves his F1.

Get your Brownie Points and her bedroom eyes into action. 

Here are a couple of kickstarters to see you into some long-lasting summer lovin': 

• Massage at home - she doesn't have to worry about rushing through traffic to get pampered
• If she's the active type, take her paddleboarding, kayaking or indoor rockclimbing
• The Back Page picnic - she'll love your romantic suggestion for a picnic in the park, you'll love the quiet time to read the sports news all afternoon
• Just send her flowers - order online, have them delivered. She loves the surprise, you love that it takes 10minutes

Brownie Points P.A memo: Whatever you choose, make sure it's something she enjoys. Not just you. Pulling a Homer Simpson and buying Marge a bowling ball is a massive rookie error. Sounds obvious but this is a common complaint.

EAT: I Chu-Chu choose you

It's all about Miss Chu. She's short, sharp, subscribes to the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' theory and offers up all sorts of deliciousness in the process.

Asian 'yellow fever' enthusiasts -  look elsewhere or go find your own mail order bride. This is about purely about awesome Vietnamese food.

There are 2 types of Brownie Points seekers who will find this useful -

1. The boyfriend / partner 'It's your turn for dinner' seeker
2. The newly-dating 'Come round for a DVD and dinner' seeker

You will love: the pork belly stew; large array of dumplings on offer; peking duck pancakes; fried king prawn vermicelli salad; the prices; being a Brownie Points star because...

She will love: that you suggested somewhere different; that it is fresh, organic and healthy; the wagyu beef pho (noodle soup); the fresh rice paper rolls offering varieties like sashimi tuna, roast duck and banana flower and free range egg omelet, avocado and balsamic caramelised onion; seared atlantic salmon vermicelli salad; the cute setting and lights if you eat in; the cute packaging if you get take out.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Make sure you know what you want to order and have your cash or credit card ready on hand. This place is so popular, Miss Chu can be like the Seinfeld soup nazi.

PLAY: Seeking sporting talent

 A friend I know rates girls instantly-hotter the minute he knows they're sporty - sporty in that Jessica-Biel-not-Amelie-Mauresmo way. Whether this mentality has anything to do with his decision to double up and play the mixed touch footy comp as well as the mens is anyone's guess - although he is a rather talented player.

The Sporting Talent rule states that the level of talent, on and off the field, correlates directly with the level of participation in mixed competitions. Obvious? Yes. Always the case? You'd hope so when it comes to mixed netball.

It's as baffling as watching a man trying to squeeze himself into skinny jeans and owning too many facial products. It's only when the Sporting Talent rule comes into place that mixed netball really makes sense. Befriending the long-legged Goal Attack in her little netball skirt until the umpire yells 'contact'? Yes, that's why men play mixed.

At the end of the day, a season's worth of early Sunday morning or late weeknight games can lead to some decent talent scouting at your end-of-season drinks. You've already laid the groundwork with some solid plays through the season.. now it's yours for the win. What a result.

Unattached Brownie Points seekers and talent scouts, your mixed comp is where it's at.

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you can't fathom a mixed team because being male and winning at all costs is your thing, just go and cheer a mate on. Yep, you might be called a blister, showing up when the hard work's been done, but there are two teams so plenty of talent opportunities.

PLAY: The marriage-and-mortgage-ready demographic

A brownie-points seeker recently lamented the lack of girls in his life. Not that he is short of any takers with 5 different dates over one weekend. What he really meant was girls that piqued enough interest to warrant more than a boring first date or the 2 week take-her-home expiry date. It got the other brownie-points seekers at the table, and Your Brownie Points P.A, talking -  this isn't the first time a guy  has raised the issue of a decent-talent drought.

The  (very) general consensus was that most girls in the 24-28 year old range are riding that long term relationship, domestic diva status -  hard.  This age demographic, more often than not, is impenetrable. And if she's not taken, then she's usually in a wannabe-suzie-homemaker state of mind.

So what to do for the single  25-35 year old male NOT currently engaged in a marriage-and-mortgage-ready relationship? Two tongue-in-cheek options:


1. Go for the early twenties if you can keep up with her (and her giggling group of friends)
2. Step it up to 30+ for some cougar cub craziness - she'll know what she wants and it's more interesting than which wedding venue or what you earn. 
3. Move to New York: Read why

Brownie Points P.A memo: As a general rule, Brownie Points P.A is more about the practical. So take this with a grain of salt. If it's dating-doctor you're after, you won't really find it here. 

SHARE: Emotional baggage

If most girls have their way, jewellery is the way to go when it comes to gift-giving. But occasionally, practicality will please - especially if you  add some pretty into the practical mix.


A friend I know is one Practical Penelope. Her brownie-points seeker spoils her with ipods, wallets, stationery and more - an engraving on her ipod, a secret card tucked into a shiny new wallet. All with tiny 'sentimental' touches - enough to tickle her pink and for her to tickle his...


Here are a few online shopping starters:


Luxe to Less
Smythson - more on the luxe, not so much 'less'. Amazing luxury leathergoods such as jewellery boxes, passport holders, make up cases and stationery.
Top 3 by Design - Design-laden goodness. Everything from homewares to gadgets to jewellery and accessories
O'Hara Designs - 2 Sydney gals who love the Harbour and love making handbags (amongst other things). The Kash laptop bag is one of their greats. You can even score yourself a new wallet while shopping for the girl.
Pigeonhole - If she's a little quirky or unconventional,, she might like Pigeonhole's "Offbeat design found off the beaten track".
Etsy.com - Less of a shop, more of a marketplace. Find anything and everything from Accessories to Woodwork. This site supports lots of emerging designers so you can trawl through and find something to her style and your budget

Brownie Points P.A memo: Practical is good but buyer beware. 'Weight loss for dummies' or a gym membership might see your Brownie Points go south of the border.

EAT: Friday night food safari

A friend I know adds a fun element to her long-term relationship date nights - Friday night food safari. Borne out of an aimless drive one Friday, looking for somewhere different to eat, said friend and partner ended up 45mins away from home in the inner west suburb of Concord.

There, they discovered a brilliant Lebanese restaurant, Le Sarab. The food was fresh and traditional with standard or commonly offered options cooked well-above-standard and a range of more adventurous options for the already-intiated such as the  very fresh and tasty Nayeh (raw meat)and Kibbe Nayeh (raw meat mixed with burghul, onion, salt and pepper). The service was a standout with warm welcomes and a lebanese education upon realising the diners were not from the neighbourhood.

Friday night food safari will extend to Uyghur (central asian) cuisine this week upon Brownie Point PA's friend recommendation. Explained in basic fashion as 'a mix of the best of asian, turkish and indian cuisine', Brownie Points PA is yet to sample the delights at Kiroran Silk Road Uyghur Restaurant (and as a rule, doesn't recommend anything unless otherwise sampled) - but apparently it's a huge winner. Table carnage  across the floor points to a good meal - empty bowls, smeared napkins and satisfied smiles.

Brownie Points PA memo: Take your fun out of the comfort zone -whether it's to the extreme like skydiving or just trying a bite to eat out of the area.

Back in the Office

Brownie Points P.A Memo:

Apologies, your Brownie Points P.A has recently been out of the office and attending to her day job.

However, she's back on board and at your service. If you ever have any personal queries, please feel free to email

SHARE: Finders Keepers, Brownie Points seekers

If you're accused of never making that weekend effort or suggesting something spontaneous for her to do, here's a free and easy option to suggest this weekend. 

The Finders Keepers markets are on again at Carriageworks  - this Fri night, 7 May, and all day Saturday 8 May. It's a design filled space for up and coming designers to show their wares. Buy her anything from jewellery, clothes, leather goods or something quirky that tickles her fancy. Yes, it's girly. Yes, it's not footy. But YES it's cheap and YES YES YES it's brownie point bedworthy. 

Even if you miss these markets, all markets in general are good for a hand-holding wander and that air of spontaneity. Surry Hills on the 1st Saturday of each month, Kirribilli on the 4th (Saturday), Paddo, Glebe, Rozelle every Saturday and Bondi on Sundays. Just as easy for her to remember Friday night, Saturday and Sunday, and Monday night footy.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Even if you're single, head to Finders Keepers anyway. Grab your best platonic wing woman and pull on your tightest skinny jeans.  There'll be hordes of girls going along. You'll love it a much as a fat kid loves cake.

SHARE: Holiday hazard

Brownie Points P.A has always stated that the advice offered falls under the realm of practical and simple. This is no rom-com, chick flick-loving, dating doctor in disguise. Hence, the tangible listings usually proffered. In this post, the advice imparted may seem 'dating doctor'-ish. But it's as as practical as keeping yourself popular and having your balls - er, ego - stroked. Anything more complicated and it's just a punish.

A friend I know loves taking 'recently-seeing' girls away to his holiday house. He deems it 'Sex on Tour'. She thinks it's a romantic retreat. Immediate discrepancy between the perceived and real value of the weekend away. It means everything to her and very little to him. Cue conflict and punishing chats about 'where I thought we were going'.

Similarly, another friend thought of asking a girl of 5 weeks to take advantage of the '2 for 1' Jetstar fares to Japan. He loves Japan, she loves Japan, guaranteed fun. Simple, yes? That's a ball-busting no. The overseas holiday, the.. anywhere...! holiday - don't ask unless you're potentially girlfriend ready or a cashed-up sugar daddy and she's happy to be your gold-digging baby. Otherwise, the only thing you're guaranteeing is a complicated, confused and potentially crying mess. 

Brownie Points P.A memo: A holiday might seem black and white to you but think about what it's saying to her.  Make sure your definition comes from the same dictionary.

EAT: Back Page Picnic - Part 2

In previous posts, Brownie Points P.A suggested the old  Back Page Picnic. With Summer disappearing, you can still salvage the last of the festive season and the last of your summer sunshine brownie points.

Mask ease and convenience behind seemingly effortless spontaneity and all-things-nice. The Sydney Picnic Company will deliver a gourmet picnic hamper, freshly packed and beautifully decorated, on the morning of your picnic. Too easy. Plus you can let them know if it's a special occasion and they'll create decor and a menu around it.

 Let her coo over the delicious food and pretty packaging. Let yourself relax and go straight to the Back Page. She'll love it for your A-plus effort, you'll love it for the too-easy brownie points.

Brownie Points P.A memo: The picnics can be a little pricey so perhaps choose it for a special occasion if it's not as affordable for a 'just-because'. In any case, you could always give it a shot yourself and just call your efforts 'rustic' and 'bespoke'.

PLAY: The New York Game

If you rate yourself above the sexpat* game but you're keen to show you've still got Game, then you might be willing to give New York a whirl.

The New York dating scene is a world (and blog post) unto itself. The following are things Brownie Points P.A has learnt, observed and been advised on by both locals and visitors experiencing the same thing.

In no other city are such rules, practices and behaviour so widely-accepted.

1. Guys will approach girls anywhere so get ready to muscle in on the action even if it means cockblocking - on the train, on the street, in a 24 hour diner, in the queue for a public toilet, at a self help lecture, the list goes on. 

2. There are 40% more women than men in this city. So guys get to have their pick and it means they are rarely going to commit. Like a kid in a candy store, when you have so much choice, why would you choose just one? And it's for this reason that...

3. Guys punch above their weight. Waaay above their weight. It's almost impressive and awe-inspiring what the average looking bloke can get here. But it also leads to insane egos and what most women commonly agree upon..

4. The problem with New York men is.. they're from New York. So play up the Australian factor. Especially since..

5. The Australian accent carries its weight in gold. And it also means Australian guys will punch WELL above their weight. Astonishing really. Open your mouth and the American girls will open their....

5. Cougars are acceptable. In fact, they're not even really seen as cougars because being 30+ and single is normal. (There have actually been very few 18-23 year old sightings which is quite refreshing compared to a Saturday night out in the Cross.) As one friend put it - it's NeverNever land and the Peter Pan phenomenon. No one has to grow up here and no one is in the rat race to settle down, worrying about when they'll buy their first home and why they need to have a baby by 30.

6. A girl can be regularly sleeping with 5 guys at once and it's acceptable. No one thinks she's the town bike so your chances are higher that she'll sleep with you.

7. On the same hand though, you can be seeing someone every single day for 3 months, 6 months.. a YEAR and unless you've had the 'exclusivity chat', you're not exclusive.

8. 'Going public' is different to 'seeing someone' but doesn't mean you're 'exclusive'.

9. Online dating is acceptable and not for losers or geeks or freaks.

10. Physical distance is as much a problem here ("He lives all the way uptown. It's just so far) as it is at home ("He lives in the Shire..what a schlep when you're coming from Bondi"). Thus, often leading to couples moving in together very quickly and out of convenience..and because the rent is so damn high.

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you meet a girl and you think they're something special, get them the hell out of the city and bring them back home. For both your sakes.

*sexpat: A person (generally man) who "couldn't get laid in a brothel back home", who moves to a poor country where prosititutes are cheap to "finally be treated like the man he always knew he was."

EAT: Etched into memory

There are certain occasions like anniversaries or 'special occasion' date nights which call for better-than-your-average brownie point efforts.  And Etch is the answer on all fronts.

This gem of a dining experience ticks all the boxes - reasonably priced, brilliant service and equally brilliant food. It's not often all 3 are offered in unison to create the holy trinity of rave restaurant reviews. Located on Bridge St in the InterContinental Hotel,  Etch is a beautiful combination of open plan dining with white walls, high ceilings, big arched windows, antique touches like teeny light bulbs and mannequins and framed artworks on floral patterened walls. It's modern without being clinical, romantic without being flowery.

The menu consists of local produce with a slight Spanish influence and the daily special is a winner especially if you arrive on Lobster Omelette day. It's modern, delicious food without being fussy, contrived or intimidating. Even their cutlery and crockery is cool. Like your best shirt, this works for the romantic date but equally for the work dinner or your mother-in-law's birthday.

Brownie Points P.A memo:   If you need any more convincing or you're the ostentatious, name-dropper type, you can just tell everyone it's also the latest venture from Justin North..you know, the guy who started Becasse. (But remember, full pockets never jingle. And they  never, ever facebook status where they've been, what they spent or what they ate.)

SHARE: Cute and convenient

Proactive present-giving, baffled by birthdays or buying your 
way out of the doghouse? If you are ticking any or all of the above, 
be it for your woman, your sister or your mother, check out these 
websites.

Buy online, buy back your time and buy yourself some brownie 
points. She'll be tickled pink with your cute (and convenient) 
offering of love. 

Chip Chop: Best known for their off beat canvas totes, washed 
denim bags and iconic and well fitting cotton tees.   

Pigeon Hole: All sorts of awesome covering accessories, jewellery, 
clothing, homewares, photography , stationery and toys   

Gosh Celebrity Fashion: Specialising in a mix of Australian 
and international labels, offering celebrity style and celebrity 
fashion at an affordable price   

Sereni and Shentel: Decoration without explanation is their 
approach to life and design with a range of exquisite hand-made 
accessories   

Alfreso Emporium: Beautiful homewares for every room. Perfect for mum.

Map 29: For that quirky, one off , map-inspired gift idea. You can 
even customise your own  product.    

Lola and Bailey: All things design - jewellery, totes, decals -
from these two talented COFA grads and advertising 
art directors.

Shop Plasticland: Retro clothing,mod shoes and bags 
and all things kitsch. The alternative to cookie-cutter women's 
fashion and accessories    

Brownie Points P.A memo: Make sure you allow enough 
time for delivery and buyer beware, you may need to gift wrap yourself.

At the end of the day, no matter what you buy, the best part for her is 

always what you have to say in your card.

PLAY: The way to a man's heart..

is through his stomach. Or so generations of women have been led to believe.

In the interests of ensuring continual good food, you may be inclined to keep this myth alive. However, don't be fooled in thinking too old- school. Her expectation is that you'll be manly enough to change her flat tyre and talented enough to know how to whip up a good meal.

Whether you're a regular homecook hero or a burnt toast beginner, a fun brownie-points-for-trying activity should include a visit to the Cucina Italiana cooking school in Annandale. Previously in a cute little sandstone cottage in Balmain, Cucina Italiana has grown so popular it is now located in a heritage-listed Italian villa in Annandale.

Learn to make everything from a full Italian meal 'Long Italian Lunch' style with antipasti, fresh pasta from scratch, a meat dish and dessert to wood-fired pizza. It's easy, fun, you get to eat it at the end and bag her brownie points for dessert - double win. 

Brownie Points P.A memo: Follow up is key. Whether you're dating or she is your main brownie points beholder, make a her a meal on a separate occasion to maximise the win.

DRINK: Milking it

The weekend lunch is a great alternative to the high-pressure Saturday night date, especially in the early stages. A friend I know recently took a girl to yum cha. They had a laugh, they had fun and she was open to seeing him again. No pressure, no cost and no wondering what happens now that it's midnight.

Plus if it's fairly new and you're fairly unsure, you're probably not up for the spend-loads-long-lunch that leads you into into awkward 'it's-late afternoon-do-we-kick-on-into-the-night?' territory.

So where to go for the fun, casual weekend lunch? It's as easy as deciphering that Milk is to Cow as Moo is to...Burger.

Moo Burger is right on Campbell Parade in Bondi but situated high enough towards Bondi Rd to to avoid the tourist crowds on the main strip. There's a diverse range of burgers -including classic cheese, chicken parmagiana, wagyu beef or the brilliant farmyard combination of duck and bacon - and their milkshake menu is awesome. Go the Beach Blonde with Crunchie chocolate, ice-cream, caramel & chocolate syrup. Plus if she's the fussy kind, there are gluten free or multigrain buns on request. Done.

If you need a bit more than some milkshake goodness for that dating dutch courage, Moo Burger is also licensed so you can order beer, wine, spirits and cocktails to get the conversation going. It's an easy, relaxed vibe in there and you're staring out across Bondi. If nothing else, at least you get a decent lunch.

EAT: Group text

Once again, your girlfriend wants to organise a group dinner with all her favourite girls, their associated partners and a potential 'set up' between friends. Not only is it mandatory you attend, you should also attend with the right amount of enthusiasm and social effort. (No, not like that. A grimace does not constitute a smile.)

Inevitably, you will be approached for help in suggesting dinner options. Somewhere fun, not too expensive, bookings preferable and a place where her volume level can comfortably increase with her alcohol consumption. (And no, not a pub where you think you can slip away unnoticed to watch the night's sporting entertainment.)

Suggestion: Wagaya. It's Japanese, centrally located with  clean, modern decor and perfect for groups, increased noise levels and alcoholic consumption. The two biggest perks? You can book via text (0416 200 223) and there's a touch screen ordering system. Like all things Japanese, Brownie Points P.A loves the efficiency.

Each table has a touch screen computer where you can order food as standard as sushi and sashimi to the more adventurous ox tongue and chicken gizzards. Waiting periods are minimal as is the bill, despite the potential to get carried away.

Brownie Points P.A memo: If the conversation becomes stilted, kickstart it with  "Isn't this a great ordering system?" then quickly stuff in a piece of sushi and force them to marvel back.

SHARE: Spoiling Mum under the sun..

                                  

If your mum's birthday is coming up or it's just time to do something nice, take her for a Sunday drive and surprise her with lunch and a birthday treat.

Sous Le Soleil (soo le sol-ay), french for 'under the sun', is a gorgeous cottage with 4 rooms of beautiful gifts and homewares that any mum will love. Set in the middle of Roseville Park, Sous Le Soleil also has a fantastic restaurant out the back so you can drive her to a surprise destination, treat her to lunch and then buy her a self-selected birthday treat. She'll love trawling through the treasure trove of rooms and even better, she will adore being taken out to lunch by her son.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Also try Burnt Orange in Chowder Bay for an equal serving of mum's best brownie points. The huge deck is great on a sunny day. You’ll find Burnt Orange at the Club House at the end of Middle Head Road, opposite HMAS Penguin. Open daily 830am-530pm. 02 9969 1120.

PLAY: Valentine's Day Victory

If you're single, count yourself lucky. If you're partnered up, read on.

Valentine's Day has the potential to end up thornier than 2 dozen long stemmed roses. This is the same danger zone where 'yes means no' and 'no means yes' also reside.

Here are a couple of pointers to keep you on track and away from the doghouse.

1. If it matters to her, respect it. Even if you think it's ridiculous. No need to  'compromise your values' or feel you have to go overboard but a token gift to show you care will be highly rewarded. Make it practical or fun but it doesn't have to be love-themed. Aim for the unexpected. Even a cute posey of flowers or cooking dinner for starters.

2. Don't disguise laziness by trying to take the high road. Claims that it's over-commercialised and you refuse to be sucked in will fall flat if you're an everyday consumerist. No one likes the anti-capitalist-for-convenience.

3. No one likes red roses and babies' breath either. No one.

4. The same applies for the white fluffy teddy complete with 'I love you' satin heart. Unless she's Kath and Kim.

5. If you've been seeing each other for a month or two, go with a token gift or starter points from Point 1. 

6. Some girls don't like Valentine's Day. But most girls don't like to be the odd one out either. If all her friends are busily engaged in Valentine's Day activities this year, get on the front foot and organise something to do in advance. Doesn't have to be labelled 'for Valentine's Day'. As long as it labels you 'Brownie Points and bedroom-worthy'.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Buyer beware. If you're taking her for dinner, expect a price premium or the 'specially created  Valentine's Day menu'. Romance equals revenue for restaurants. They love the words 'wedding' and 'valentines' as much as your girl might.

DRINK: Tea not wine

The hardest-won or most sought after Brownie Points will often come from her mother. She’s the all-important Other Woman you need to continually impress. Treating her daughter well should be a given. Whenever you see her, engaging in conversation and taking a genuine interest are also mandatories.

But how can you really cement your place amongst the ‘wonderful’ ex, her sister’s new boyfriend or the ‘lovely’ and long-time family friend?

Time to take tea. Send them off for a delicious afternoon of mother-daughter bonding over High Tea. Even the least girly-girl will love it when there’s tier upon tier, layer upon layer or buffet-me-up sweet and savoury delights on offer.

Here are the top 3 sweet spots:

1. The Observatory Hotel, CBD – choose from the traditional tea or a unique range of High Tea experiences

2. The Victoria Room, Darlinghurst – always accommodating larger groups so if mother and daughter share the same lack of conversational volume control, noise and loud laughter is welcome

3. The Intercontinental Hotel, CBD - for the amazing buffet including your own chef-at-the-ready with freshly prepared crepes or waffles

Whether your (future or existing) mother-in-law is Helen Mirren-incarnate, a socially-reborn ‘Kath and Kim’ divorcee or a more motherly and matronly Mrs Doubtfire, they will equally love the experience.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Expect to fork out around $35-40pp minimum but what price freedom? Not only do you score in the Brownie Points department, you also score a free Saturday or Sunday afternoon to yourself.

EAT: Bloomin' lovely

If you’re not a regular at giving flowers, any sign of a floral arrangement can often signal guilt and an impending trip to the dog house.

To win genuine brownie points rather than having to combat suspicion,  try doing it differently with Edible Blooms. These cute bouquets come in all different variations – chocolate strawberries, fresh fruit, chocolate, cookies etc - and for a variety occasions. They make for an awesome gift especially when you surprise her with a delivery at work.

A friend I know used to send these to her boyfriend thinking he’d love them. She realised she was subconsciously sending him something she really wanted when the bouquets were creating more of a sensation for his female colleagues rather than him.


Plus your spending-to-brownie point ratio will sky rocket when she shares the bouquet around - her friends or colleagues will all gush over how thoughtful you are and she’ll be extra chuffed.


  Brownie Points P.A memo: If you’re already a floral guru in the brownie points department but want extra convenience and efficiency, try Fast Flowers for some killer bouquets!

SHARE: Show her heaven ...

I received the following text this week -

" Brownie Points P.A, I have a question. When are you finally allowed to 'drop your guts' in front of that special someone?"

Farting, flatulence or the 'quack' (as it's referred to by some of my workmates) might still be hilarious to you but less so for her.

After much discussion the general consensus was between 3 to 6 months at the earliest and dependent on how often you're seeing each other. But don't do it intentionally or think she'll find it as funny as your mates. Try and at least look a little bit sheepish or embarrassed. THEN you can piss yourself  WITH her and she might even think you're cute.

In response to this, my reader had an even better suggestion.. "3 months AND you have to get her to reach orgasm first". Clearly, a smart Brownie Points seeker.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Show her heaven before you expose her to hell!

PLAY: The real man

Most women these days bemoan the lack of a 'real man'. To be fair, the definition is ambiguous because they still demand decent dress sense and some sensitivity. However, a common disappointment is the handyman factor.

 Knowing how to fix your ipod, xbox or laptop do not count as tool time. Calling someone to do the job is similarly unappealing. Yes, you have the cash and the need for convenience - weekly cleaners, 12 ironed shirts for $12 and removalists who unpack for you too. But the biggest (balls) test is this - does she call you or does she still call her dad when it comes to the 'real man' stuff? If you don't like the answer, start liking the toolbox. Equal opportunity and all that but the fastest way to brownie points is taking charge with manly duties. And if you like nice cars, know the inside too. A friend on a date was driven to a local lookout point for a romantic tête-à-tête. The Beemer cut out and her 'man' had to call another man to help him locate and jumpstart the flat battery. Yep, that's hot.


 Even worse, modern male competitiveness has become less on-field and more 'on the streets'. With the rise of the skinny-boy-in-skinny-jeans, it's increasingly alarming seeing guys trying to out-vintage and out-style each other. That's right all you 'I've-moved-to-Bondi-so-therefore-I'm-cool' culprits, there's something scarier than being photographed by Fernando Frisoni for S without having perfected your pout - having women think you look like a pussy.


 The rise of the metrosexual in the early part of the decade gave way to a dominant belief that the burly bloke was out and stylish, have-a-clue charisma was in. This is still true to an extent. Yet there's a call once more for the manly man - rough, tough and uncontrived buff. There’s a direct correlation between male skinniness and unattractiveness to the female population. Skinnier jeans, skinnier arms and skinnier singlet straps on any man equals hugely unattractive. And just because you have guns, squeezing yourself into skinny jeans isn't ok either. It applies to any or all of the above. (Chunky bums in skinny jeans are equally as vomitus). Most of the time, she won't say anything but she's cringing behind your back. Trying too hard is just plain tiring and just plain unmanly.


 Brownie Points P.A memo: If you take longer to get ready than most girls you know, you have a massive problem. And that's before she's even undressed you to take a look down there. Make sure she still leads in the style stakes and give her a generous dose of compliments for a generous dose of brownie points.

EAT: Tap that

For the average punter, the very word 'date' makes them cringe. Visions of a candlelit dinner and stilted conversation makes even the worst morning-after coyote ugly* situation look appealing. Surprising as it may seem, not every girl loves a 'date' either. If she's more down-to-earth than picky princess, choose your venue wisely.

For the 'non-date' date,  The Local Taphouse is a great place to tap that, figuratively and literally.  The decor makes it cooler than your average pub without being a wank - instructions to 'Drink Beer' in large wooden letters and oversized lights hanging above the front bar, bookcases and birdcages for light fixtures in the restaurant upstairs. But most importantly,  it offers a tonne of specialty beers on tap.  You can even get the none-too-ghastly gimmicks going with a 'beer taster' - five 90ml beers for $13. Sure to get the juices flowing..conversationally.


If the beers are going down well and things are looking on the up, make it more intimate and head to the restaurant upstairs.  They even take bookings - an increasingly common Sydney rarity. There's a massive menu with some brilliant standouts including the 3-beer marinated beef burger and the lemon, leek and thyme mussels. Plus there are desserts like beeramisu to add another talking point.  


But if you're still struggling to make conversation this late in the game, the only thing that's getting tapped is another beer. Almost a win each way, no?


Brownie Points P.A rating: Also perfect for the keep-it-casual, no-cringe double date.

*coyote ugly: A situation encountered after a night of consuming alcohol whereby a person, usually male, wakes the next morning in a strange bed with a sexual partner from the previous evening who is completely physically undesirable and sleeping on the man's arm. The hapless male would rather gnaw off his own arm than wake the woman and have to face the ills of his intoxicated choices the previous evening. Originating from a phenomena whereby a coyote captured in a jaw trap will chew off its own leg to escape certain death. (Urban Dictionary.com)
 

DRINK: Boozing on a budget

Payday has passed and you’re dangerously close to zero. So where to take a girl for that midweek booze on a budget? 

Here are a few places trusted by fellow mates with no money for dates. While they’re mainly in Surry Hills, they’re close to the CBD/ Central for after work drinks, no matter which direction she lives in. Given the location and general atmos of the list below, these boys came off with more ‘street cred’ and ‘laidback cool’ than when they first walked in. Not to mention, the extra company.


The Hollywood Hotel, Surry Hills for the retro vibe and live music
The KB Hotel, Surry Hills for the free finger food and people spilling on the street in the late afternoon sun
The Gaslight Inn, Surry Hills for the eclectic crowd
The Cricketers Arms, Surry Hills for the open fire and fun vibe 106 fitzroy st, surry hills
The Lounge, Surry Hills for the food and less of a pub feel
3 Weeds, Paddington for the pool table and bar food
North Bondi RSL for the views and burgers
Diggers Club next to Bondi Golf Course for its hidden gem views

Brownie Points P.A memo: Wherever you go, if she lives close by, walk her home. Saves you a cab fare, gives you more time to linger and less of the awkward chat and cabbie’s impatience at the end of the ride. Plus, she’ll be telling her friends you’re charmingly chivalrous and you just ‘talked all night’. Brownie points, brag-me-up!

PLAY: A night of beckoning..

Festivals and fun don’t always equal free. However, Sydney Festival’s staple, the much-loved Becks Bar, has free entry after 1130pm. Get off the couch and into the city. Time to show her you’re spontaneous and sound-savvy. 

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you think dancing to DJs dampens your style, just soak up the atmos and enjoy January's best outdoor bar.

SHARE: Clothes she covets

Clothes. She looks great with or without them. The problem is, how do you buy them? The short answer is you shouldn’t. Like an elite athlete, only a small minority excel and will always win a swag of brownie points. For everyone else, it’s just pure fear and you choke at the finish line. Fear of getting the right style, size or shop and fear of answering ‘does my butt look big in this?’. 

If you’re game, go in prepared: 

1. Know her size. And not just “Size 10”. Is she a 10 on top and a 12 on the bottom? What’s her cup size? Check her tags to get a clue without seeming the stalker. There’s nothing worse than getting her size wrong. It’s a lose-lose. You’ll depress her because she’s larger than you thought or insult her by suggesting she’s larger than she is. In fact if she’s having an off day, it’s an epic fail because subsequently, she’ll feel self conscious, less sexy and less likely to initiate ‘sexy time’.

2. Know her taste. Get what she likes. Not what you like. You might be a g-banger boy but if she's a full brief fan, choose wisely to ensure you actually have  the option to see her wearing neither.

3. Sleuth shopping. Go shopping with her. Sounds punishing but if you’re attempting to buy her clothes, you’re already a glutton for that. Take note of the styles she’s browsing, what she’s trying and where she’s buying. And always make friends with the saleswoman.

4. Respect her right to return. Always ensure there’s a return or exchange policy and let her know she has the option. Not to lack faith but be realistic. Then at least both parties are happy and your money doesn’t go to waste.

5. If all else fails... and you are set on giving her clothes, take her with you. But make an effort to make it special. What seems practical and generous to you - offering her a wardrobe and your credit card - might seem like a cop-out to her. No thought, no effort, no brownie points. A friend I know managed to make a cut-out card in the shape of a dress with a dollar value. Simple, short and in her eyes, super sweet.

Brownie Points P.A memo: If you’re struggling, consult her best mate or sister. It’s the trifecta of brownie points – you look good, your girl ends up looking good and you get influential instant-win best mate brownie points.

DRINK:...exactly what though?

Ordering wine can be murky territory. If you know too much, you risk coming off as a wanker. If you know too little, you’re deemed a clueless bogan. She’ll love it if you take charge and suggest a wine but she will be turned off if you rattle on about the characteristics of the wine and overdo it with the tasting. It’s best to consider what wine she prefers drinking, know a few good regions for that particular varietal, and then go with a mid-range bottle. Not too cheap, not too showy.

However, this is no wannabe wine guide. There are plenty out there and you can read up til your cup runneth over. Instead, here are a few suggestions for a few solid vinos for that BBQ, dinner or house party at the home of the one you covet. That way you’ll find picking a bottle just as easy as picking out your favourite case.

Sparkling - $10-19: Janz Premium Cuvee $20;  $20-29: Deutz Marlborough Cuvee $22; $30-40:Chandon Brut NV $30.

Whites - $10-19: Oyster Bay Chardonnay $18; Oyster Bay Sav Blanc $18 . $20-29: Brokenwood Semillon $20; Leeuwin Siblings Sav Semillon $25.  $30-40: Cloudy Bay Sav Blanc $32; Cardinham Riesling $35; Cape Mentelle Sav Semillon $37.

Reds - $10-19: Cono Sur Pinot Noir $10; The Stump Jump Shiraz  $13; Annie’s Lane Rose $17; Catching Thieves Cab Merlot $15 $20-29: Stoneleigh Pinot Noir $20; Cape Mentelle Cab Merlot $25.  $30-40: Mount Pleasant Rosehill Shiraz $33; Nanny Goat Vineyard Pinot Noir $35

EAT: Well-stocked

There’s nothing more disappointing than a guy who’s not well-stocked in the main department - the kitchen. For the unexpected overnight guest with potential for an extended stay, ensuring you have the breakfast basics ensures a late morning love-in. Never underestimate the importance of a good omelette or scrambled eggs. It’s too easy to keep your kitchen stocked with fresh eggs, butter, milk and bread – kitchen staples just as easily obtained as a case of beer. Less prep time means more bed time. Try this classic omelette recipe  or these simple scrambled egg s, prep time 2 mins, cooking time 5 mins. And back to bed.. gold.

Brownie Points P.A memo: Goodbye hangover, hello eggs and sunshine.  Happy endings all round.